My Dating Website Adventure: When AI Enters Romance

Yes, I admit, I took a break from dating and relationships, and then I struggled to turn back to the world of dating. I was single for more than three years. But it is good, because when you learn how to be happy alone, you know you can more easily be happy with a partner.

So, a few weeks ago, I decided to start dating again. I signed up on an international dating site, because I like open-minded people, and I am not sure if I want to stay in my country here in Central Europe.

It feels both exciting and a little scary, but also beautiful — like opening my heart to new possibilities again. 💗

While I was away from the dating world, some changes seemed to have happened on those dating websites: it suddenly felt like applying for a job. Seriously, the questions were a lot like a job interview! I even checked if I was really on a dating website and not on some career platform. The questions felt so superficial that I left more than one website within 15 minutes — they just didn’t feel right.

Because I am 5’9’’ tall and I want to date a man who is taller, some may say that is superficial too. But let me answer this with honesty: I was rejected more than once by men I truly liked, who told me, “You are too tall.” So, this one point simply makes sense on a dating profile — it’s not about perfection, it’s about feeling comfortable and natural with someone.

But many other points just don’t make sense to me. For example, this: why does the amount of income matter? Why would I choose a man based on that? In real life, people can lose their jobs within a week. A great career can come and go several times within a lifetime. That question just isn’t realistic — and it tells me nothing about a man’s character, his kindness, or his heart. People change careers all the time, and their income changes too. What truly matters to me is who someone is when life isn’t perfect.
 
I left that dating website after just 20 minutes, because their questions felt so far away from reality. They try to appear smart, but they seem disconnected from real life. Because in real life, people change and grow all the time, we learn from our experiences, we move for a job, we explore new paths, and we keep evolving. Our hobbies are changing too, because curious and open-minded people love to learn and try new things, and that’s part of what makes life beautiful.
 
Those dating websites are only focused on the short term. Did I mention the many fake AI-image profiles? We style our hair, dress in nice clothes for an hour, add a few layers of make-up, and suddenly we all look like superstars. Some rent a big car and pretend to own it, taking twenty pictures, then take another twenty in a five-star hotel and pretend to be rich and successful. Then you hear these same people, with their fake profile pictures, complain that they only attract gold-diggers on dating websites. These profiles are just fooling themselves, until they learn to be real.

But all of this is simply not real life. If we want a true, long-term, loving relationship, those dating websites should focus much more on the heart qualities and the character of a person.
 
In real life, many things can change within just a few days. Careers come and go, success can come and go, wealth can come and go, and accidents or health issues can happen too. If we are looking for real love and a true, long-term relationship, then a reliable character and a loving, compassionate heart matter the most.

Maybe it is because of those kinds of dating website questions that relationships are no longer lasting. The questions people care about are often the wrong ones to begin with. We create perfect profiles, but life is not perfect, and we are not perfect either, and many things change along the way.
 
The real question is: are we still willing to stay with our partner during difficult times, when one loses a job, or suddenly has health issues, or when we grow older? Because those were the real and true love stories, the ones lived by our grandparents.

So, next time I go on a date: an old T-shirt, blue jeans, and a pair of sneakers? Well, I am the same woman, no matter what clothes I wear. Of course, I also have some sexy clothes that I might wear on a date. But I always find it interesting how some people are quick to judge me because of the clothes I wear, and their reactions tell me all I need to know about them.
 
Here is the thing: to really get to know a person demands that we take the time to sit and talk with them, and that we truly listen to what they have to say and share. Getting to know a person means spending time with them.

This is the crucial point: do people these days still know how to listen with an open heart, and take the time to really get to know another person before judging them?

Those who know how to truly listen with an open heart, and who are willing to take the time to really get to know someone, may discover real treasures. And then, there is a chance for true and lasting love.

Yes, I believe that my Mr. Right is out there, with a loving heart and a reliable character. Perhaps he will feel a spark reading this and take a moment to reach out, so we can truly get to know each other and start our own beautiful love story.

With a loving heart, Jeanne
💗

www.jeannejess.com


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