The Path to Acceptance: Embracing Life with AuDHD

💗 Dealing with an Unexpected Medical Diagnosis
Receiving an unexpected medical diagnosis can be a shock for many people. The seven steps to cope with it are similar to those experienced during grief: first, one experiences shock, then enters resistance (denial), followed by feelings of anger, attempts at bargaining, a period of sadness, the process of adjustment, and finally, after mourning, gradually reaching the stage of acceptance.

There was the shock, but also the long-sought answer: ADHD-autist. 
What is an ADHD-autist? An ADHD-autist, also known as someone with AuDHD, is an individual diagnosed with both Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), experiencing overlapping traits. In my case, these include sensory dysfunction in hearing and being a true introvert.

Receiving that diagnosis after the age of 45, after suffering your whole life, can bring a sense of relief. People’s judgments can be so painful that I reached a point where I could no longer bear it. At work, I experienced one burnout after another. But when you don’t know the reason for your suffering, you end up with a heavy burden of self-doubt and repeated feelings of failure.

Besides being diagnosed with PTSD a few years earlier, I had other symptoms throughout my life for which I couldn’t find any answers. Looking back at my professional career and the many jobs I had to give up due to health issues, I often felt like a complete failure. Not to mention my private life, where constant criticism brought me to a breaking point and made me feel very bad about myself.

That day in the doctor’s office, I finally received the long-sought clarity. After all the criticism I had heard throughout my life, the doctor’s words that day were incredibly healing: “No, none of it was ever your fault, and you certainly did not fail. You have achieved much more than others despite this diagnosis."

Before that day, while I excelled in many office jobs in customer care services and was quick with certain tasks, I struggled with chronic stomach issues and exhaustion for more than 25 years. In the past, I sought answers for my repeated failures and chronic burnouts, but the doctors never ran the right tests. Instead, they judged me, telling me I was too sensitive. They made me feel bad about myself over and over again. In many other daily life situations, I often heard, “You are not normal.”

Now, it is a medical fact: the brains of people with AuDHD do not produce the same levels of neurotransmitters as 95% of the population. So yes, we are not “normal,” and therefore our ways of processing situations and information are different - but also uniquely valuable.

That doctor couldn’t believe that despite my chronic symptoms, no previous doctors had ever run the right tests. Before that day, I knew little about AuDHD, but as I began learning and reading about it, I wept tears of relief. The long years of burden, criticism, and judgment were finally washed away. Simply hearing that it wasn’t my fault for the struggles I faced over all those years brought me deep comfort and relief.

Of course, in the weeks that followed, I went through all seven stages. I had to accept the fact that it was time to set aside certain goals I had made. And yes, acceptance sounds nice in theory, but sometimes in daily life, you just… you know.

Making peace with where we are and reaching acceptance takes time, so have compassion for yourself.
 
So, I started this blog and website to motivate and encourage all those walking a similar path. And I truly mean it when I say this to anyone going through difficult times in their life: please never give up! If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to reach out, and we can meet on a video call, like sharing a cup of coffee with a friend.
💗 I am here for you. You are never alone.
With love and light,
Jeanne
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www.jeannejess.com

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#SelfCompassion #AcceptanceJourney #HealingProcess #BeKindToYourself #MentalHealthMatters #SelfCare #InnerPeace